I’m Back, Emotionless but Back!

Today I was given good news. The content of the news is unimportant, but the story surrounding the news is the issue I want to talk about.

For the last little while, I have been in a blasé mood. There is no ryme or reason for it, I have been unmotivated to write this blog or do anything of relative importance.  This morning I received a phone call asking me to come to a work related meeting. There was a problem at work, and I was seeking a solution and the bosses finally arrived with an answer for me.  Depending on the answer would be whether I remained in the job or joined the thousands of Canadians in the unemployment line.

Thank goodness the news was good and I remain employed. The thing that stood out for me though was, once I received the good news, one of the people sitting around the table looked at me and asked, “Are you happy with the resolution?” I replied “Yes, very much so” and he asked “So why aren’t you smiling?” At that point one of the other meeting participants who has known me for some time said, “Oh he is smiling, that’s the way he smiles.”

It was at that point that I started to think about perception. How do people perceive me when they meet me in person, when they hear me on the radio? Do I come across as a crabby sour puss who’se never happy and never smiles or do I come across as a happy person, who sometimes is concerned about the future but is generally happy?

The honest truth is that I’m a little of both.  I’m not an overly emotional person. Those who are close to me know that it takes quite a lot to rile me up and in general I show very little emotion.  I joke around a lot, and I laugh a lot, but when it comes to having appropriate emotions to fit the situation, I tend to be stone faced or sometimes it appears that I’m uncaring.

I have emotions, don’t get me wrong, as a human we all do. I feel the entire range of emotions, but I tend to internalize them. So, what’s my outlet? This blog and the radio show. It is in this freedom that I could express myself, tell you how I’m really feeling and open up my heart and soul to you.

I want to thank you for giving me this platform and reading what I write. I want to thank you for being loyal supporters (loyalty is something that I believe is earned and I’m happy you feel I’ve earned yours) and I make a pledge right now that this blog will be updated more often as of now.

So if you meet me and I seem a bit distant, if you email me and it seems a bit curt or if I cut you off midsentence and either change or leave the conversation, please don’t get insulted. I’m just like that, and the more you get to know me, the more you will realize that I do care about what you have to say, I do care about what is going on and I do appreciate you sharing your lives with me.